Tuesday, March 5, 2013


And you thought we were gone...Nope we have been super busy..SUPER!

First things first everyone is probaly wondering how Myah is doing. Well she is still standing in the storm. She repeated Kindergarten. she is still struggling with speech and reading. But is sharp as a tack. We continue to support her the best we know how and decided to let her bloom when she was ready. Dont get me wrong she is speaking 3 word sentences and can read 60 words but she is delayed. Thats ok, she was delayed in getting a family and everything worked out just fine.

With everything that I have learned from my daughter I decided it was time to do something with it. I am the Founder on a non-profit organization that started all because on my little wonton. I have been working feverishly to get all the paper work needed and figure out how I was going to pay for it since I already have $100,000 in medical bills that await payment. So to add on another expense was not the wisest of things to do at the time....but its a calling...so in essence I might be the Founder of the program but in reality it FOUND me...

I am anxiuos to share this new chapter of our lives with you..Please take a peek...


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

No More Entry..

Well after 21 surgeries, they are no longer able to enter through this hard scar on her belly. The scar has become hard as a rock and the scar tissue is way to tough to get through. Scar revision is needed and so is some grafting...if you can see they have entered to the left of the scar a few times but they will need to create another entry point. And so we keep reminding her that the more a diamond is cut the more brilliant it shines..so cut away...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Happy New Year..

Let me start out by saying the New Year will be great for us all, I can feel it in my heart. I have never really looked forward to a New Year but I am determined to make this one the best ever. Why? because we have been on a downward slope these last few months. Trying to mainstream Myah in school, balance her daily iv medical treatments and keep up with doctor appointments...and still incorporate my work in the community..I sometimes sit and am completely ovewhelemed. Then trying to figure out how to get to out of State Hospitals and manage my boys with school and sports..well mind baffling.

We are faced with going back to NYC for surgery. When? Well not exactly sure. I believe I will have to take the boys with me since Hank cant take off from work. Ideally, March would be the time to go but we need to figure out the cost of flights, hotels, food and car rental..Not an easy thing to consider with 5 of us going..

As for her health we have been treading water but if we keep on target with her medical plan then surgery is the next step. This will be her 22nd surgery since she has been home with us (3 yrs) .

We still do not know exactly what the future holds for our Myah, but we know God is working mightily in her life, in our life, and in those who have heard her story. God has big plans for Myah – that much I know!
Whatever the reason, I am abundantly thankful that God has brought our sweet girl into our family forever! God has changed us because of her story.
I once was lost, but now am found.I once was blind, but now I see!
I am completely unworthy of His Amazing Grace!

Since we are a Make -A -Wish foundation family we will the need to do what we can for those who cant. So we returned to Give Kids The World in Orlando and visited with patients who probably would not make it to see Christmas. We made crafts for them and sat and talked with their parents..but it was more like wiping their tears...Its a bond we all have like no other..The waiting for the other shoe to drop is what we call it ...

I love my kids and I am proud to say my boys have stepped up to the plate and learned everything I know on how to treat her medically and have been a huge help to me. We work like a fine oiled machine when in crisis. I am beyond proud of my clan. they fill in during the night when she wakes up in pain and soothe her back to sleep. They have been a reflection of me..PRICELESS !

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Back from Hiatus!

Ok, so I took some time away from blogging and from family..yes, I said family. with all that we have been through I found myself not in a good place emotionally. Hank agreed it was time to step away for a little and work on mommy. So I did. I went on a 4 day cruise with some friends. I definately needed to recharge and find my self identity. I believe at times we lose ourself. We have so many roles, mommy, wife, advocate...but we lose who we are...I was able to recapture my laughter and child inside. I felt horrible leaving. I felt defeated in doing so but in retrospect I am kicking myself for not have doing it sooner. If fact I am scheduling next years mommy getaway. Thanks to my husband for holding down the fort while mommy read a book in a hammock on white sandy beaches and nobody called out "mommy "...

Modeling Parenting Magazine Apparel

ok I think she was done at this point...!

American Asian Magazine...

Our wonton..

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Dead End !

When she was younger I wished she was older so I can rationalize with her..but now that I can rationalize and she understands whats to come..I wish she was younger and didnt have a clue...

the Statue of Liberty...

Myah girl !

I hate this face..the look of fear and the look to see if I'm going with her..

But I was not allowed...she she screamed MOMMA all the way down the hall...brought me straight to my knees...

In Recovery...

So we were scheduled without notice to the OR after going in for a follow-up doctors appointment..Nothing like getting caught off guard. But we felt that they were confident on what needed to be done and they spoke with such promise..I should of known better..I heard everything I wanted to hear..and just jumped...

Needless to say..in midst of everything the nurse tells us that they had to send an ambulance out to another hospital to borrow a machine that they needed for Mayh in the OR...WHAT? this is not like trading baseball cards..who the hell trades and swaps mid case..WHO? I hit the roof...anxiety was setting in and I was about to lose my Christian composure...I felt my NY truck driver mouth making its way to the tip of my tongue...

4 hours pass..and the surgeons came out and told us that they were not going to proceed any further...the facilty and staff are not equipped to handle a case like hers. they spoke to their colleagues in Miami Childrens and Joe Dimaggio hospital and they concur.

so you Quit? QUIT? Who the F quits? Well I am not quitting..I AM NOT QUITTING...


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

When Parenting meets Education

School attire said collared shirts...momma says a Halter collared shirt is more stylish !

of all days , she tied her shoes on her own today...a clear indication she was ready for school

1st Day of school..

walking the kids into school..

so I thought...Umm, WAIT FOR MOMMY !

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Tomorrow is Kindergarten !

The first day of kindergarten was always an emotional one for me. But I managed to make it through it with my 3 boys. It was a sure sign that my children were getting older and entering a new chapter in their lives. Everything that I have invested in them and how to treat others is going to be be put to the test. Feet to the fire!! But this year Myah starts Kindergarten and its a totally different emotion.

I stopped by the school to leave her paperwork. The moment I stepped out of my van, my stomach started turning. For her its NEW place, NEW faces, NEW voices, NEW smell...totally out of her comfort zone. Even though my 3 boys were in the same school they were in different grades. Myah would have to navigate and try to make her way with new friends that talk and start creating their circle of friends. How would she do with just flashing a smile..how far would it get her? Mainstream is not like her special needs class.

As I walked out of the building tears streamed down my face. Myah's paperwork paints a totally different picture than who she is. It reads THERAPY, PT, LANGUAGE THERAPY,SPEECH THERAPY, NOT VERBAL, SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD,extra time, extra effort, meds in nurses office, pager attached to child for potty reminder ect.. My heart ached as I thought of the perception that was painted of her to the normal person.

I got in the car and said "OKAY LORD, I AM TIRED OF BEING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE...can't I just feel an INCH of peace in my heart?!??! Just let me SIT in my peace of mind for just a moment. aaarrrggghhhh. He whispered to me, "you will sit in the peace that only I can give...not what this world can give you, and it is far greater than anything that you could ever feel from the world." So, that is what I am choosing to do...once again, sitting in HIS peace that is NOT of the world, and once again...feeling like an alien in my own skin. It is going to be good.....I just wish I had hindsight and could see the fruits now instead of later. ( I will never learn....)

The things that make her so fun are her smile, giggles, affection, activity level...I have no doubt that once she transitions in, she will follow what everyone else is doing...

Pray with me that her teachers will see her heart. That she will bring them joy from the first day. That they can smile and appreciate all that life has dealt her and feel the love that she truly brings to my heart each and every day.

And as I tell all of my kids...when I give them a K.I.S.S. it stands for

You are K..ind

You are I..mportant

You are S..pecial

You are S..mart

And I love you...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Happy 3rd 'Gotcha Day' Myah

I can’t believe that it has been 3 years since we first held you in our arms. In some ways it doesn’t feel that long but in another way it feels like you have been here forever. You are a perfect fit and we can’t imagine life without you. You have come so far in 3 years. You have amazed us all at how easy the huge transition was for you. I can’t imagine how scary that was for you. There were so many different faces, smells, sounds and so many unfamiliar language and voices. We are so proud of you!

When I think back of 3 years ago my mind automatically comes to this picture. I am in no means a person who think’s that I take a great picture, especially when I was 80 lbs heavier then, but there is something captured in that picture that I forever be grateful for. Can you see it? You have to look close.

That tear rolling off my eyelid.. that is the ache of waiting three years for you melting away. The pain in my heart of missing so many different milestones is being replaced with such gratitude that I get to have so many other milestones with you. The ache of my empty arms went away instantly as I felt your chest rise and fall against mine. Every single bump and hiccup in the process became worth it the moment you were placed in our arms. You’ve made your Mama and Dada look at life through your eyes and it is so much brighter with you in it. We can not begin to tell you how lucky we are to have you in our lives.

By adopting a child and helping them reach their potential, they help us reach ours. An adopted child is not an unwanted child; to the contrary. They are a child who was searched for, prayed for, cried for, begged for; received by arms that ached, making empty hearts full. Love is meant to be shared.

Happy Gotcha Day Myah..we forever learn from your strength and your survival skills...but mostly how you embraced our hearts and made us a complete family...

Pictures of you ..on your 3rd year with us..

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Only place we could think of going

As soon as Myah was released we stepped outside and we knew we had to go to church. We just had to...St. Patricks Cathedral

The kids held hands..Myah still a bit woozy but the boys held her up and they walked down the isle together..

i have no idea what Devon was saying in his prayers but he continuously kept wetting his finger in holy water..he was completely drenched by the time he was done..

Myah still having her hospital band on lit a candle for herself...

and the boys followed...Please Lord hear our prayer...


Myah had 2 surgeries and then was sent down to have testing done while she was semi still sedated..The surgeries lasted about 6 hours. We all sat there and to my surprise the boys didnt move not once...they read magazines back to back like 4 times. Today was a proud mommy moment.

testing and more testing

She woke up in pain and was given some pain meds but I told her that if she wasnt well that she couldnt go home that they would admit her. Well she snapped out of it right away...Within an hour she was asking to get dressed and pointing to the door. She wanted out...

We met with a room full of surgeons to hear their findings and to tell you the truth...I heard the first sentence and the rest seemed to come across muffled. I looked at Hank and he was crying. How does one prepared to hear news that one is not ready to process. And right away you start hating the doctor...but what kills me is the doctors in Cincinnati and NY have 2 COMPLETELY different takes on treatment and surgeries to come. And what kills me even more is the doectors in NY were trained by the doctors in Cincinnati.

What we all agree on is that there are a slew of surgeries that need to be done. And one of them needs to be done relatively soon. So another trip to NYC...But timing, school starting, Hank not being able to take any more time off all come into play. I simply cant afford to take all the kids with me because we would have to fly. ...and here we go again..back to the drawing board...

Surgery Day..

I'm not sure any of us got any sleep the night before. We talked about what was going to happen today and what to expect. The boys were excited to be on the front line with their sister. They got up, dressed and in the car by 4am...not a peep or complaint. we all just kinda went through the motions knowing what was ahead of us....

The boys waited with myah in the waiting room for her to be called in for prepping...they played in silence but the silence spoke volumes..

all suited up and standing strong...

and we waited ....

and waited....

and the time came when they called her name...

final kisses

Mommy scrubbed up and we waved goodbye to everybody..


In a NY state of Mind...

The Make-A-Wish Foundation gave Myah tickets to the Empire State building with a simple note that read..."To the World you are One , but to us YOU ARE THE WORLD"..

walking to streets with my kids..Priceless...

and this is how they walked the streets..arm and arm...standing strong for their sister...

NY or BUST !

Since we need to give Myah treatment every 24 hrs we needed to keep the time in mind. And if we stopped at a hotel we would need to rent 2 room because we are a family of 6..so Hank decided to drive 21 hours straight...we literally stopped for gas and 2 drive thru meals...we were on a mission...

Gotcha Day in China ! 8/11/08

Domestic Re-Adoption..Its Official !

Feeding the Needy on Thanksgiving !