The first day of kindergarten was always an emotional one for me. But I managed to make it through it with my 3 boys. It was a sure sign that my children were getting older and entering a new chapter in their lives. Everything that I have invested in them and how to treat others is going to be be put to the test. Feet to the fire!! But this year Myah starts Kindergarten and its a totally different emotion.
I stopped by the school to leave her paperwork. The moment I stepped out of my van, my stomach started turning. For her its NEW place, NEW faces, NEW voices, NEW smell...totally out of her comfort zone. Even though my 3 boys were in the same school they were in different grades. Myah would have to navigate and try to make her way with new friends that talk and start creating their circle of friends. How would she do with just flashing a smile..how far would it get her? Mainstream is not like her special needs class.
As I walked out of the building tears streamed down my face. Myah's paperwork paints a totally different picture than who she is. It reads THERAPY, PT, LANGUAGE THERAPY,SPEECH THERAPY, NOT VERBAL, SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD,extra time, extra effort, meds in nurses office, pager attached to child for potty reminder ect.. My heart ached as I thought of the perception that was painted of her to the normal person.
I got in the car and said "OKAY LORD, I AM TIRED OF BEING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE...can't I just feel an INCH of peace in my heart?!??! Just let me SIT in my peace of mind for just a moment. aaarrrggghhhh. He whispered to me, "you will sit in the peace that only I can give...not what this world can give you, and it is far greater than anything that you could ever feel from the world." So, that is what I am choosing to do...once again, sitting in HIS peace that is NOT of the world, and once again...feeling like an alien in my own skin. It is going to be good.....I just wish I had hindsight and could see the fruits now instead of later. ( I will never learn....)
The things that make her so fun are her smile, giggles, affection, activity level...I have no doubt that once she transitions in, she will follow what everyone else is doing...
Pray with me that her teachers will see her heart. That she will bring them joy from the first day. That they can smile and appreciate all that life has dealt her and feel the love that she truly brings to my heart each and every day.
And as I tell all of my kids...when I give them a K.I.S.S. it stands for
You are K..ind
You are I..mportant
You are S..pecial
You are S..mart
And I love you...